JokEs²
Pythagorean theorem: 24 words. The Lord's prayer: 66 words. Archimedes' Principle: 67 words. The 10 Commandments: 179 words. The Gettysburg address: 286 words. The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words. The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words
10 best excuses when you get caught falling asleep on your desk:
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in
that time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably
got here just in time!"
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new paradigm."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who
practice Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a
solution to our biggest problem."
3. "The coffee machine is broken..."
2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your
desk...
1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
bUmPa sTicKieS oN caRs
19. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an "rhymes wit witch"
18. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
16. Don't piss me off. I'm running out of Places to hide the
bodies.
15. You're depriving some poor village of its idiot.
14. All men are animals. Some just make better pets.
13. Some people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them.
11. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
10. All men are idiots. I married their king.
7. Friends help you move. Best friends help you move bodies.
6. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
5. Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else.
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